We've all experienced it, an instant where we find ourselves aligned perfectly with the whole of existence, or we feel the fragile uniqueness of a moment, or we experience a precious connection with Life that only just now became apparent. These are the sacred, mystical spaces of every day life.

Would you like to share a mystical experience you've had?

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Dry Creek on Baja


Summers are unbelievably hot along the Baja Peninsula down in old Mexico. It’s the kind of intense, hovering, sweltering heat that cactus, lizards and iguanas love. Humans have to carry little wash cloths around whenever they need to do something. Healthy skin sweats to keep cool, so a body just drips with every little movement. Native fishermen roll their t-shirts up over their bulging bellies to stay cool. Ladies use fans.

The sleepy fishing village of Loreto is on the east side of the peninsula, facing the beautiful, blue Gulf of California. Selected for the shelter it offered missionary ships from Spain, Loreto sits within the mouth of an extinct volcano.  Half of the volcanic cone is the peninsula mountain range to the west, behind Loreto, with its rich soil of volcanic ash and thousands of years of flower petals and palm fronds. The other half is the ring of pointy island mountains offshore that circle the unequalled, sapphire blue waters of the Gulf, abundant with colorful and nutritious fish, nudibranchs, dolphins and whales. Sunrise over the island mountains is rather late, giving a needed, added hour of cool in the early morning. Evening sunsets are gorgeous, as the rocky, off-shore islands reflect the red, setting sun atop the water. If it weren’t for the high humidity, the whole place would be swarming with people already, as it is a strikingly beautiful part of our planet.

We were just beginning the final part of a 15 hour drive from San Diego to the tip of Baja, now only 3 hours away. As we drove west, into the mountains, it began to get very dark and overcast. We were driving a little Toyota truck, with all our worldly goods under a tarp in the back. We were glad for it, as we were prepared for the eventuality of rain, and the storm was bringing the welcome movement of air and a drop in temperature. But as yet, it had not begun to rain.

As we drove down the mountain, we found ourselves behind a slow-moving, diesel truck, that, because of its slowness and the fumes, I wished we could pass. But the road was too curvy, so we were still stuck behind it when we came to a “flash flood” area. It had rained somewhere upstream and this normally dry creek bed was now full of water. I knew not to drive across a strange creek because they can take lives. I knew the importance of reading a creek, of knowing if the water is too deep or too fast moving to cross.

We could see that the water reached only to the hub caps of the truck ahead of us, so we could see it would be safe to follow him into the water. I changed my attitude toward the truck and became grateful that it was in front of us, helping us read the creek. If the water had stayed at that height, we would have been fine. But a little more than half way across, we were suddenly slammed with a high wall of water, mud, stony silt and crickets! Our lightweight truck stammered a bit, and then stalled out.

In no time at all, the rush of water inside the truck reached all the way up to window level. I squatted on the seat as I rolled my window all the way down. There were crickets all over me, and all over the truck. Poor little guys. My hair was now getting soaking wet from the rising water! Where were my sandals? I began to seriously prepare to vacate through the window, not wanting to be rushed down stream like so many crickets. But look! That diesel truck had seen what had happened, and, armed with tow chains, was backing into the raging water of the creek to help us! I remember listening to the comforting sound of that diesel engine as it pulled us up and out of imminent danger.

It towed us only a few miles down the road to a tiny gas station named Agua Amarga, “Bitter (that is, undrinkable)  Water”.  We were stuck between two such “dry” creeks, and at the mercy of raging flash flood torrents. The truck would not start. There were no restaurants in this rural agricultural area; just vending machine potato chips, polverone sugar cookies and Coke. No hotels; just the wet front seat of our truck. Gratefully, however, there was a bathroom with very cold, but running water.

The attendant was an old guy, all smiles and gestures. I was so glad to be able to communicate with him in good Spanish. Since there would be no more traffic for this newly converted Wayside Inn, he encouraged us to unpack a bit and spread our things out to dry. Everything we owned was soaking wet and muddy – clothes, personal papers, CD’s, my favorite books and the sleeping bags. We hoped the car would dry out and start up again tomorrow.

This land, and all the creatures that survive on it, are unique forms of Life designed to gather life-sustaining moisture from the more subtle coastal fogs and humid sea breezes.  Rain has always been scarce here, and so the life forms tend to be ancient, other-world looking, with thick skins designed to survive in harsh, drought conditions. The stout, grey-trunked Elephant Tree seems so heavy and cumbersome, yet still manages to be graceful. The Boojum Tree stands 12 feet tall. It looks just like a candle, tall and thin, tapering off as it reaches the top.  Its whole body is covered with tiny, needle-like leaves that are only six inches long, giving the tree a very fuzzy, yet regal beauty. When I sat in meditation under one, it began to hum a most haunting sound when the wind passed through its tiny leaves.

The Arroyo toad, an endangered species, has adapted to the intermittent rainfall here, by digging deep holes in the sandy soil when water is scarce. They then dehydrate themselves by wrapping up in a blanket of skin, and wait, buried in the soil, for the waking kiss of the next rainfall. When they feel the moisture of the rain, they rehydrate themselves, and hop back out onto the land.

It had rained really hard here! There were huge puddles and the ground had turned to a soft, sandy mush that one could easily get stuck in. The locals learned of our presence soon enough and arrived on foot, bringing Mexican hospitality, smiles, laughter, and delicious homemade yam empanadas and cheese quesadillas. This was the first rain in 15 years! Much needed, the rain made everyone feel joyful. Farmers and children, old ladies, kids on bikes, everyone came by the store with eyes dancing and big smiles in celebration mode. Everyone was joyful, celebrating the long awaited, life-giving moisture. It was an unforgettable evening.

No one was happier, though, than the Arroyo toads, for they had been buried in the sand, waiting for this rain, for 15 long, dry years.  As soon as they unburied themselves, the males found suitable puddles and begin an electrical-wire kind of high pitched, raspy call to attract a female.

The sound was everywhere, all engulfing, all pervasive, hypnotic. It lasted all through that night and the next, and all day long, for as long as we were there. It was utterly mesmerizing, as hundreds and hundreds of toads hopped about in romantic frenzy, giving new meaning to the expression “horny toads!”

These sweet toads with big, watery eyes had been buried alive, waiting for life sustaining rain for 15 years! And as they waited, their species was in ever-greater danger of going extinct. With urgency, as he reached the surface, the male began calling out that he had found a suitable puddle for the kids. The sooner the eggs could get laid and fertilized, the better the chances that the little tadpoles would have all the water they needed until they could hop out and live on land. Answering the call, the females chose their mate and, although they had come perilously close to extinction, perpetuated their species for yet another season.

And so it was that the very same rain that threatened to take my life was a life sustaining rain that perpetuated the lives of hundreds of Arroyo toads and removed them from the list of endangered species.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Meditation






A thousand times
I have been unfaithful
and yet
I ask you to come to me
this fragrant early morning


I have not been steadfast.
a million Other things . . .
and yet
I wait for you to be with me
this fragrant early morning

I have not been ardent
but testy in my love for you
and yet
I invite you to stay with me
this fragrant early morning


the lamp flickers

I catch sight of your eyes

my heart leaps up
a tear slides down
and I Sit
unwavering

still

You are here!
You have always been!
in the fragrant
early-morning

Oh!
such a blessing it is
to be Alive!
with Life

Saturday, February 25, 2012

California Freeway



California Freeway

No one in California drives under 75 MPH. We have places we need to be, people we’ve got to see, things we have to do. Our miles and miles of concrete freeways have been designed for impatient people who want to be somewhere 25 minutes ago. Easy-access on and off ramps distribute thousands of cars with only one person in them, onto the 6 or 7 lanes in each direction. Each bit of roadway has been banked and curved with scientific, mathematical precision so we can keep up to speed. We get there faster, no matter what the cost of gas!

This afternoon I was returning from a state-wide conference for the current and future preschool and kindergarten teachers. There was a tender sweetness to everyone, lots of playful, colorful clothing, and every imaginable style of comfortable, low heeled shoe. Everyone knew to smile at new faces, to listen before speaking, to be patient, encouraging and to speak in soft, yet firm tones. We chose healthy snacks, waited quietly. We even dozed a bit right after lunch!

My presentation was about fostering peace. I had lugged with me a colorful poster of our precious planet, and another of one of Jupiter’s sandy, lifeless, dead moons. It was so easy to see the aliveness! to see the organic Life in our beautiful green and blue Gaia. I spoke about creative resolutions to conflict, having a space for quiet, alone time, establishing talking circles, recycling, and fostering the experience of the unity of all living beings.

Their questions had all been about the small, petty details of storing the plastic for recycling and how to get kids to bring newspapers. What kind of punishments did we use? Was a closet too small for a quiet, thinking space? a porch too big?

All their silly questions had frustrated me. I didn’t want to “come down” to the mundane details of “how?” I wanted them to experience holding hands and chanting together.  They wanted to ask more questions about decorating the talking stick. I wanted to breathe in and out with the trees. They wanted examples of kids’ fighting that they themselves were able to resolve. The session had gone well, I suppose. They’d certainly asked a lot of good questions! But I was not happy about ending on the note of taking toys away “because they make friends fight”.  I had wanted to end with upliftment . . .

I headed towards home feeling more frustrated with every mile. “What is the purpose of the stupid left brain?” I demanded to know! What was its purpose?  It’s always such a damper on the fun part of Life. It’s the stupid left brain that places such emphasis on time, planning, adhering to a plan.  It always takes away the spontaneity, imagination, liveliness. It picks apart the beauty, lowers the purity of the original concept! Carrying out the plan always gets so laborious, makes everything heavy with details, conflicts about preferences and rigid emotions. What was once a colorful, mystical concept becomes more like slogging through mud.  Anyway, the plan always has to change when the “reality of the situation” kicks in. The stupid left brain is tedious, boring and trite . . .

Suddenly, there was something really wrong with my car. I had to come out of my intense focus to deal with it. The car was sputtering, jerking and making very strange sounds. I pulled from the fast lane all the way across the freeway over to the right and stopped just after a bridge.

As I sat there on the side of the road, I felt the car shimmy and shake with each passing car. They were going by at over 75 miles an hour! The sheer wind force was so strong! It made me honor the sweet wildflowers that had sprung up on the side of the road.  Tough little guys, they must be! At least this didn’t happen on the way to  the conference and make me late!

Soon the guy from the auto club showed up in his truck, took my membership number, and asked about the problem.  I described the noises and he checked under the hood. “Little Lady”, he came back. “Could you turn on the engine?” He peered into the dash lights, looked at me askew and smiled. “She just needs a little gas.”

Oh! I had been so wrapped up in the conference I had not given a single thought to the gas gauge! It made me smile. Okay. Okay! I get it. Thank you, Life. Yes! That’s what the left brain is for! To pay attention to the details. To keep enough gas in the car to get me where I want to go - and then back again.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Under a Jacaranda Tree

Jacaranda Trees


One of the things I love about California is the freshness. The air smells so good! Having just made a long journey from Asia, flowing across the moving Pacific Ocean, that constantly renewing freshness makes the whole place cool, damp and sweetly magnetic.  It gives a relaxing, soft sensation of deep nurturing to every thing alive. Jacaranda trees bloom purple in the air currents. Smaller ferns gently nod in the breezes. Since it’s usually warm and sunny, people spend a lot of time out doors, walking, biking, swimming, golfing, jogging and gardening. The kids would get covered in dirt; fingers and faces all muddy from playing with their bright yellow construction trucks while I plucked, pruned, planted and potted the arugula, chard, parsley, tomatoes, basil and rosemary we had in our garden.

At the time, I was doing kundalini yoga. One of the practices we did along with our yoga asanas early, every morning, was to chant “Ek Ong Kar.”  This powerful chant moved me deeply, as it expressed an idea I had always had, that God is everywhere and in all things. I wanted to make this a living reality for myself, so I started chanting it during the day. I wanted to experience it, to know it existentially, emphatically, so I kept on chanting it all the time.

As I watched the kids playing in the mud one day, I focused on the water. Specifically, how it is contained within so many different things. It was in the kids’ mud and in my lemonade. It's what makes rain and snow and fog. Soup is mostly water. Our bodies are mostly water. Water’s in the stems of the flowers and in the trunks of the trees. I could suddenly see that water, like God, is often hidden within. Ek Ong Kar.

What’s more, water, like the Divine, takes on so many different attributes. It takes the shape and the manner of what ever holds it. So, it is that it can be soft, like chocolate cake, or hard and sharp as ice. It can be the fragrant steam of pesto pasta or intoxicating aged Scotch. Water, contained within, can be so many different forms, so many ways. Ek Ong Kar.

And I loved my new analogy of water and God! Later that night, the dish washer didn’t close right, and we got water all over the kitchen. Next day morning the washing machine over flowed. Then, in the afternoon, a pipe in the front yard broke, sending a geyser of water as high as the roof! I got it! I got it! Water, like God, is everywhere! Ek Ong Kar.


It had been a rather exuberant, albeit trying day. I put the kids to bed, and sat to get centered within mySelf. In this place it was so easy to find the Divine in everything - in the palm fronds clapping, the eyes of my kids, the Jacaranda blossoms, the fog, the basil stems, even in gushing water! As I sat with this, I became aware that tears were rolling down my cheeks. Water! Yes, God is even within this body! Ek Ong Kar. This body is housing the Divine, is a temple for Divine Spirit. Body lives and moves and has its being because Spirit animates it. Always I had been searching outwards. And all along it has been within me, a part of me! A part of what I call as mySelf is the Divine! Ek Ong Kar!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Sedona Meadow

Sedona  Meadow
It was sometimes really hard for me to get a job. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I really just wanted to stay home and be a Mommy to my two boys. It goes so fast, a childhood. And I am so grateful that I have been there for every minute of theirs. But not bringing home a regular income meant there was less money for us. Sometimes we did not have money to get the things we wanted. I supplemented as best as I could, with part time jobs or renting out a room, or sometimes selling furniture and jewelry.

One time I remember, we needed money urgently. We lived in Sedona at the time and new age philosophy touted that it was my mind that was creating the lack. What I needed was to have a more positive relationship with money. I had to get over thinking that money was dirty, or the root of all evil, or only for rich people. These were the concepts that were pushing money away from me.

So I did ceremony to release any and all vows of poverty from past lives. I spoke to St Francis and asked him to understand that in today’s world money was necessary, even to be born and to die! And I released the thought that it was more spiritual to be poor. I released all the learned, negative ideas (both conscious and unconscious) that might be preventing me from receiving money.

Then I blessed money and opened to the many ways it can benefit me, my kids and others. I programmed into my conscious mind that every dollar passing through me would bless me and my kids, and be used to better the world. And I did ceremony with the intention of opening myself to receive any and all of the blessings and abundance that were my right to receive.

Native Americans use corn meal that has been blessed to clear negative energies and to open new pathways.  So, I sprinkled a little corn meal over my hands and into my wallet. Then the thought came that I needed to really love money too, so I sprinkled a little more cornmeal over my heart. And I wanted to have the correct and highest mental attitude about money too, so I put a bunch on my forehead - and then  plopped some more on the very top of my head, so as not to miss any place.Then, I thought about past life attitudes, beliefs and habits.  I surely wanted to clear those in the Native American way too, so I ended up taking off all my clothes and just jumping into a dry bath of it!

And it felt good! It felt as if I were making a new beginning, a new place for me to stand in relation to money.  So I drew a circle on the floor that represented the “old way of standing with money” and boldly stepped out of it. Then I drew another circle representing my “new, less judgmental, more conscious relationship with money” and stepped into that. I got goose bumps all over me! It felt like a whirlwind shifting around me. When the goose bumps subsided, it felt complete.  And so I sang a song of gratitude to end the ceremony.

Several days later, I still had no job, and so there still was no money.  I was quite agitated, anxious and depressed, so I decided to go for a hike so as not to focus on the negative and get all grouchy. I couldn’t go on a long hike, because I had to leave soon to pick up the kids from school. So, I decided to just walk into the beautiful meadow near the house.

I sat down on a flat, red boulder, turned my face to the sun, and began drinking in the warmth and the beauty of Sedona’s red rocks. I was really lucky to be living here amongst these sandstone cliffs, Juniper trees and vortexes. After some time I felt calm again, and open to the abundance of Life. I stood up to leave. Then, without thinking, I leaned down and pushed over the rock I had been sitting on. There, in the sandy dirt at my feet, was a folded fifty dollar bill!   Fifty dollars!

Now I ask you, what are the odds of that?